


Broken and Burned Wings

by Cait_11



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas Is Bad At Feelings, Cas has a cat, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Demons Are Assholes, Demons are mean, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Sam Has a Dog, the boys get pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 19:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21151040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cait_11/pseuds/Cait_11
Summary: It was just supposed to be a simple hunt. Sam, Dean, and Cas would go in and kill a few demons. Unfortunately, they all got severely injured, and Cas wasted a lot of power healing the Winchester brothers. If that weren’t bad enough, a demon captured Cas and tortured him, cutting off the wings that had just manifested due to Cas’s low power. How was he going to deal with this extreme loss of power, as well as his growing feelings for Dean that may or may not be reciprocated?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Art for this fic by the lovely zaffre: https://zaffrefic.tumblr.com/post/188541707748/my-art-for-the-dcbb-2019-broken-and-burned-wings

Cas wandered around the bunker trying to find something to do. He had been searching the Internet for something to do, some sort of case that seemed even remotely interesting. He found one about an hour ago. He couldn’t tell the Winchesters, though. It was about four in the morning, and he figured he should let Sam and Dean sleep for as long as they wanted since they rarely got the recommended amount of sleep. 

He headed back over to the table and sat down in front of Dean’s laptop. He figured he could watch something on Netflix for a little while, at least until Sam and Dean woke up. 

About an hour later, Sam walked into the war room, looking like he was ready to go to the gym.

“What are you doing, Cas?” Sam asked, propping his foot up on a chair and retying his sneakers. “Burning the midnight oil?”   
  


Cas cocked his head to the side. “It’s five in the morning. How could I possibly be ‘burning the midnight oil’?” he asked, actually using air quotes. 

Sam shook his head. “It’s just a saying. I’m gonna go head out for a run. I’ll be back in, I don’t know, an hour?”

Cas nodded. “All right. I found a case, but I can wait until you get back and Dean wakes up to tell you about it. I don’t think it will be that difficult to manage and there probably wasn’t much damage yet. It can wait a few more hours.”

“Yeah,” Sam said, pulling out his phone. “That sounds fine.” He plugged his earbuds in and then headed outside for his morning run.

Dean came into the war room about an hour later, carrying a plate of bacon and a large mug filled to the brim with steaming hot coffee. He sat down across from Cas and rested his head on his hands.

Cas looked up and paused the episode he was watching, tilting the screen down a bit. “Is something wrong, Dean?” Cas asked, sliding Dean’s laptop to the side. 

Dean shook his head. “Nah. Just didn’t get much sleep.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Did you find a case?”

“Yeah. I was just going to wait for Sam to come back so I could brief the two of you on what I found,” Cas explained. 

Dean looked up. “Huh? Where did Sam go?”

Cas furrowed his brow. “A run? He goes on one most mornings.”

Dean shrugged. “Oh. I guess I just don’t pay attention to where he goes.”

Cas looked down at the table and shook his head. He returned to watching his show, although he wasn’t quite sure what he was watching. He had just clicked on something random earlier, and he quickly became enthralled with what he was watching. Dean returned to his breakfast, downing his coffee in large gulps and taking generous bites of his greasy bacon. At some point, Sam came back from his run with an empty bottle of water and a face drenched in sweat. He left to take a shower and change, then reentered the war room with something to eat. 

“So,” Sam said, “this case you mentioned. What’s going on with that?”

Cas turned off Dean’s computer and slid it across the table towards Dean. “It looks like a demon case,” Cas explained. “It’s in Junction City, Kansas. Several people reported seeing people with dark eyes, and some even said black. A few people died, I believe, but they’re not sure if it’s connected. Think it’s worth checking out?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. It would be nice to get out of the bunker for a little bit and do something. I’m getting restless sitting here, all cooped up.”

“Sounds good,” Sam said, polishing off the rest of his breakfast and standing up. “Let’s go.”

After cleaning up the table a bit, the three of them headed out to the garage and hopped into Dean’s beloved car, Dean and Sam in the front and Cas sitting in the back. Within a few hours, the three of them arrived at a rundown motel not far from the main part of town where all of the sightings had been. They paid for a room, then made their way to it. Dean collapsed on the bed once he made it into the room, evidently tired from the drive even though it hadn’t been that long.

“So,” Sam said, sitting on the other bed, “should we head out soon, ask some questions?”

Dean nodded into his pillow. “Yeah. Just… I don’t know, let me rest my eyes for a little.”

Sam shook his head and laughed. “Fine, but don’t fall asleep. I want to get started with this soon.”

Dean rolled his eyes, bringing an arm up to rest over his eyes, protecting them from the bright lights shining through the window. Cas thought they looked nice, but he also didn’t have to try to fall asleep on a regular basis so the sun had never really bothered him that much.

A few moments later, Dean sat up. “I can’t sleep. Let’s go.” He stood up and headed to the bathroom with his suit so he could change. Once he was done, Sam did the same so they would be ready to leave. 

They arrived at one of the witness’s houses, an elderly woman by the name of Pauline Smith. She let them in and offered the three of them some tea, but they declined. 

“So, what did you see, Mrs. Smith?” Dean asked, gently sliding into the seat across from the woman. Sam sat next to him and Cas stood behind them, arms crossed over his chest. 

“These gentlemen showed up at my house,” she explained, her voice a bit shaky. “It seemed like they wanted something, but I wouldn’t let them in the house. Their eyes turned black, I think. I must have been hallucinating or something. Right?” She had started rambling a little bit, but Cas wasn’t listening.

“Thank you for your time, Mrs. Smith,” Sam said politely. “Is that all you know?”

The woman nodded. 

“Okay, then,” Sam said. “Thank you for your time. I believe we’ll be heading out now.”

“Of course, agents,” Mrs. Smith said. She led them to the front door and opened it for them. “Have a good day.”

Sam turned and inclined his head. “Of course. You as well.”

“Well, that was a bust,” Dean said as soon as he made it into the car. “Let’s go to some of these other people’s places and see if they have anything better to tell us.”

They asked around at some other homes, trying to find out as much information as they could. Eventually, someone told them that he had seen them heading to the outskirts of town, where there was an abandoned warehouse and a rundown farm.

“I think that’s it,” Sam said. “I think he said it was this way.” Sam pointed to the left. “We probably just have to drive until we find what he was telling us about. Shouldn’t take too long.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.” He turned the car around and headed in the direction Sam had indicated. After about ten minutes, Cas told them to stop. In the distance, there was a warehouse, and if he squinted enough, he could see the old farm. 

Dean hopped out of the car and rounded the back to the trunk. He pulled out a large assortment of weapons they could use against the demons and handed them out. He led the way inside the warehouse, slowly peeking around every corner before quietly letting Sam and Cas know they could follow him. They made their way around the warehouse, eventually ending up in the main part of the building. There were several demons standing at the perimeter of the room, and others were pacing back and forth. 

“Ah, the Winchesters,” one of them said, stepping towards the two brothers and the angel. “And your little friend. Nice to see you. I’m sure you’ll enjoy my friends and what they’re going to do to you.” He paused and surveyed the rest of the demons. “But on the other hand, maybe not.”

All too quickly, the demons ran forward, attacking them from all angles and directions. Dean flipped around and stabbed one in the chest. As he did that, a demon jumped on his back, dragging him away and tackling him to the ground. Dean tried his best to get the demon off of him, but it put all of its weight on him and wouldn’t let Dean move. The demon dragged a knife over Dean’s cheek and neck, letting the knife dig a shallow cut across Dean’s skin. Dean grimaced and tried to shove the demon away, but his arms were caught under himself. 

“Dean!” someone shouted. Cas. His friend’s familiar face appeared over the demon’s shoulder. He brought out his angel blade and stabbed the demon in the back, right in the spine. The demon fell on top of Dean, but Cas kicked it to the side before helping Dean get off the ground. “Come on. I heard a bunch more in other parts of this building.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Okay.” They split up, Dean heading in one direction and Cas in the other. He didn’t see Sam, but he assumed his brother was off fighting the demons somewhere. At least he hoped so. There were a lot more demons than he had anticipated, and he had no clue how quickly and easily they were going to get out of it.

“Shit,” Dean said as he stumbled and fell on the ground. He smacked his head on the cold concrete and turned around to see a demon standing over him. He sat up and stuck out his knife, trying to catch the demon in the stomach. His vision was a little blurry, he guessed, because he missed, ending up catching the air right next to the demon’s side. He tried again, this time nicking the demon, but not enough to actually kill it. 

“Not so strong, are you?” the demon taunted. “A little injury to the head and all of a sudden you can’t fight.” The demon paced around where Dean was lying on the ground. “It’s such a shame, too. I was looking forward to a good fight.” The demon kneeled down and captured Dean’s knife. He stuck it in Dean’s arm, then his side. 

“You son of a bitch,” Dean moaned, holding a hand to his side where the demon had stabbed him. He sat up as fast as he could, making a grab for his knife. Somehow, he grabbed hold of it, using it to stab the demon square in the chest. It collapsed, falling on its back and slamming its head on the ground. “That’s some nice payback,” Dean said. A burst of pain shot through his head, but he ignored it, instead stomping towards a group of demons on the other side of the room. He caught them off guard, thankfully, and he was able to easily kill all of them within a minute. The last one gave him a bit of trouble. Dean had tried to stab the demon in the chest, but the demon fought back, managing to get a few quick hits in before Dean killed it. 

Dean fell over after he tripped over one of the fallen demons. He felt a crack in his ankle and through his shin. He clutched at his now-injured leg, letting out a loud stream of curse words. 

“Hey, Dean!” Sam called, jogging over to where Dean was sitting on the ground. “Are you okay?”

Dean shrugged. “Fine, I guess. I think I’m having a lot of bad luck today. I just probably broke my leg and the demons kept cutting me when I was trying to kill them.”

Sam frowned. “Same. I don’t think my injuries are too bad, though. Let me go find Cas so he can clean you up. As far as I’m aware, we got all the demons. I think he chased a few into the hallway, but he probably got them by now.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’ll just stay here.”

Sam jogged after Cas. He came back a few moments later with a bruised and battered Cas. He dropped onto the ground by Dean’s side. He reached out a hand and placed it on Dean’s arm. His face scrunched up in concentration, like he was having difficulty healing Dean.

“Cas,” Dean asked, turning his head toward the angel, “are you all right?”   
  


Cas sighed and shook his head a little. “Not really. I think I lost a lot of strength fighting the demons, but I’ll still heal the both of you.”

Dean shook his head, reaching a hand out to grasp Cas’s shoulder. “No,” he said sternly. “Conserve your strength. I’ll heal the old-fashioned way. It’s okay.”

“No,” Cas said. “I’ll be fine.” He continued his process in healing Dean, the look on his face turning worse and worse as more time flew by. Eventually, Dean felt better--no pain in his head, in his leg, or in the many stab wounds scattered all over his body.

“Uh,” Dean started, frowning. He was angry at Cas for ignoring him but still thankful that Cas had healed him. “Thanks.”

Cas gave him a firm nod before turning to Sam. His healing process didn’t take as long as Dean’s, but it still looked like it was taking a heavy toll on Cas. Well, that combined with his injuries. Something strange was happening, and Dean didn’t know what it was. 

“Cas?” Dean asked. “What’s that on your back?” As soon as he asked that, two dark, large wings sprouted from Cas’s back, the wings that Dean had only ever seen before as shadows. 

Sam took a few steps back. “Whoa. What the hell, man?”

Cas turned his head back so he could get a better look at his wings. “Oh. Those are my wings. I guess I can’t keep the hidden right now.”

“Why’s that?” Sam asked.

“I lost a lot of strength today,” Cas said quietly. “Unfortunately. It takes a lot of my power and concentration to keep my wings from being seen. I’m forced to have them take on a physical manifestation right now.”

Dean frowned. He pushed off the ground and stood up. “Is there any way we can help?”

Cas shook his head. “No. At least… not that I’m aware of.” He looked down at the ground and shuffled his feet. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll be able to head home with you two. I’ll have to wait until my strength is back so I can, I don’t know, put my wings away. I’ll just wait here and somehow find my way back to the bunker.”

“No,” Dean said firmly. “We’ll wait here with you. We’re not going to leave without you. Right, Sammy?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah. Do you know of anything we can try to do or how long it will take for you to get your strength back?”

Cas shook his head. “No.” He started heading toward a door at the left of the room. “I’m gonna go outside for a bit, get some fresh air. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He headed outside, and Dean followed him with his eyes until he couldn’t see the angel anymore.

Dean sighed and dropped his head in his hands.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Sam asked. 

Dean shook his head. “Nothing, nothing. I just feel bad that he was healing us and lost a bunch of his power. It just doesn’t seem right or fair or anything like that.”

Sam shrugged. “It was his choice. He wanted to help us, so he did. I get that you care about him a lot, Dean, I really do. I care about him too, but you have to let him do things he wants to do sometimes. Occasionally, that might be helping us when he probably should be taking care of himself. But that’s his choice.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean said, waving his brother off. “I get that. I guess I was just trying to help him out.”

Sam and Dean sat in silence for a little while, just simply waiting for Cas to come back into the warehouse. After about seven minutes, Dean started to become worried. 

“He just said he would be a few minutes, Sam,” Dean explained. “It’s been a lot longer than that. You think we should check outside, just make sure he’s doing all right?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, sure.” 

Dean followed Sam as he headed outside in the same direction that Cas had. Once they got out there, they didn’t see the angel anywhere.

“Maybe he headed around the other side,” Sam suggested. “I’ll go head around there and check.”

Dean nodded. “Okay. I’ll stay here, just in case he comes back.”

Off in the distance, Dean could have sworn he heard a scream that sounded similar to Cas’s. “Sam!” he called, making sure his voice was loud enough that Dean could hear. “Come back!”

Sam hurried back around to meet Dean. “What?”

“I think I heard Cas scream or something,” he said hurriedly. He pointed in the direction he had heard the scream. “Somewhere over there, I think.” Without even waiting for Sam to reply, Dean began to head in the direction he had indicated. He passed the old, rundown farm, but he thought the scream had been too far away for it to have come from the farm. 

“Dean,” Sam said. “I heard something else. I think it came from a little further down the road. There are two houses down there. I’ll check one and you can check the other.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah.” He started to jog down the road, trying to make his way toward the first house Sam had indicated as fast as possible. Once he got closer, he could tell that it was probably the one. He stood outside the door and took a deep breath before pushing the front door open.

* * *

Cas slowly blinked and took in his surroundings. The last thing he remembered before he woke up was someone--probably a demon--grabbing hold of his wings and knocking him out. He didn’t know where he was, but he hoped he wasn’t too far from the warehouse. He hissed a bit as he felt pain up and down his arms and legs. He tried to look at them, but he found that his neck was too stiff to move that much.

“Ah, you’re awake,” a man said, walking up to Cas, tapping an angel blade against his palm. His eyes turned black and Cas groaned. “Is something the matter? Did we not have fun?”

Cas spit blood at the demon. “No,” he said, voice a little weird from the amount of blood that was in his mouth.

The demon shrugged. “Too bad, because I was having a lot of fun.” He walked around to stand behind Cas. He trailed his hands along Cas’s arms where they were tied together and attached to the ceiling. “And we’re gonna have some more fun,” he whispered, leaning in close to Cas’s ear. “Just wait and see.”

Cas shivered. “No, no. I don’t think so.” He tried to shake out of the demon’s grasp but the demon had too tight of a hold on him. He tipped his head back and screamed, “Let go of me!”

The demon laughed and gripped onto Cas’s right wing. “Nice try, sad excuse for an angel,” he spat. Without warning, he sliced open part of Cas’s wing with the angel blade he had stolen, probably from Cas. He moved on to the other wing, slicing a longer and even deeper cut in that one.

“Let. Go. Of. Me.” Cas gritted his teeth. 

The demon cut into Cas’s wings again, this time towards the base of them, where they connected to his back. Cas screamed, louder than he thought he had ever screamed before. Whatever the demon was doing to him, it truly hurt, much more than anything else in Cas’s life. 

The cuts kept getting deeper and deeper, and even though Cas couldn’t see it, he could feel the demon ripping his wings to shreds. With each cut, he kept yelling and screaming louder and louder. He only prayed that the Winchesters could somehow hear him and would come to help him. He knew it was only wishful thinking, but it was better than any negativity. He was trying to wipe all the negativity he could from his mind.

He could feel the wings detaching from his back, feathers falling to the ground behind him. The demon sawed through them with little incisions here and there. The angel blade wasn’t big enough to cut the wings off with one cut. Cas kept screaming through it all. The pain was unbearable. He couldn’t tell if he wanted the demon to stop or if he wanted the demon to hurry up and cut his wings off so he wouldn’t have to deal with the pain anymore. 

Soon, Cas felt the wings detach from his back and fall on the ground. He gritted his teeth and tried his best not to cry out in pain. His throat was getting sore from all the screaming, and he was pretty sure he was close to losing his voice. 

“Now,” the demon said, “that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Cas blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears from his eyes. He didn’t feel like showing the demon how weak he was, even though it had been pretty evident by how often Cas had screamed from the pain of the demon cutting off his wings. 

Cas tried to twist around and see what had happened. He could just barely see the cuts through his clothes and in his back where his wings had just been only moments before. A little further back were his wings. The demon must have dragged them over to get them out of the way, though Cas didn’t really care. He just wanted to get out of there, possibly crawl into a hole and die. Maybe just sleep for eternity. He really didn’t have a preference, he just wanted to leave.

* * *

Dean ran down to the basement, trying his best to follow the sounds he had heard. Someone was coming up the stairs as he was just starting to walk down. A demon. Dean pulled his knife out and waited at the top of the stairs. As the demon stepped into the doorway, Dean turned and stabbed the demon through the chest, letting it sink in as the demon’s eyes flickered out. 

Dean stepped over the demon and ran down the stairs. It didn’t take him long to find Cas. He was in the center of the basement, hands tied together and to the ceiling. Something about him looked different. He didn’t have his wings. Dean only hoped that Cas had regained enough strength to return them to their usual form. It was much easier than thinking about the alternative. 

“Cas!” Dean called, jogging over to Cas. He cupped the angel’s cheeks and stared into his bloodshot eyes. “Are you all right? What happened?”

Cas groaned. “Dean, there’s a demon. He could--”

Dean cut him off. “I killed him. Was he the only one?”

Cas slowly nodded. 

“Good,” Dean said, more to himself than to Cas. “That’s good. Now, what happened to you? Sam and I could hear your screams back at the warehouse.”

Cas sighed and looked up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. “He… he cut my wings off. Tore them to shreds. It hurt so, so badly.” His voice was raw. “It still hurts.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, yeah, okay.” He was freaking out, but he was trying his best not to show Cas that. He walked around towards Cas’s back and assessed the open wounds. “We’ll get you fixed up once we get back to the bunker. Okay, buddy?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

Dean reached up and cut the ropes from the ceiling. He leaned forward and let Cas fall on him so he wouldn’t fall onto the ground. Dean gently took Cas’s hands in his own and cut the ropes apart. “You’ll be okay,” Dean reassured. “I promise.” He threw one of Cas’s arms over his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get you back upstairs.”

Together, the two of them hobbled up the stairs, Dean walking slightly ahead and Cas walking slightly behind. The staircase wasn’t wide enough for two grown men to walk together side-by-side, so they made do. Dean led them outside and into the fresh air. 

“Do you wanna wait here for a second before heading to the Impala?” Dean asked. 

Cas nodded. “Yeah. That would be nice.”

“Or I could ask Sam to drive it over here. I think that would be a lot easier on you, right?”

Cas shrugged. “That’s fine.”

“Good.” Dean pulled out his phone and dialed his brother’s number. He explained the situation and asked him to bring the Impala to them. He hung up after he was done. “Sam’s coming soon. Just sit tight for a few minutes.”

“Okay,” Cas said quietly. He seemed kind of reserved, even more so than usual. Dean was worried, but he didn’t want to ask Cas too many questions.

Two or so minutes later, Sam pulled up in front of the house with the Impala. He got out and helped Dean bring Cas over to the car. He let go to open the door for Cas. Dean helped the angel get in, trying his best not to hurt Cas. He instructed Cas not to lean back against the seat because it would disturb the wounds on his back. Cas complied, sitting forward in the seat so he wasn’t tempted to rest against the back of the seat. 

Dean hopped into the driver’s seat as Sam got into the passenger’s seat. “I’ll try to get us home as fast as possible, okay?” Dean said.

Cas nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Take your time. I don’t want to get in a car accident on top of all this.”

Dean rolled his eyes before focusing his attention on the road.

* * *

It took a little while, but Dean eventually pulled into the bunker’s garage. He hastily jumped out of his seat and opened Cas’s door, reaching his hands out and helping Cas get out of the car without hurting himself too much. 

“I’ll take you to your room and clean you up. Unless you wanna do it yourself?” Dean gripped Cas’s arm so he wouldn’t fall over. Cas seemed okay, but he was a little shaky and Dean didn’t want to risk it.

“Uh…” Cas trailed off. “I don’t really care. My back will be hard to clean, so a little help wouldn’t hurt.”

Dean nodded. “All right. I’ll get you inside. Sam, you can just head to bed. Cas and I got it.”

“Sure, sounds good,” Sam said. “I’m really tired anyway. Good night, you two.”

“Have a good night, Sam,” Cas said quietly. He stepped forward, starting to walk without Dean’s guidance. He took Dean’s arm off his back, grabbed Dean’s duffel bag, and headed towards his room. 

“Cas!” Dean called, trying to catch up with the angel. “Wait up! Let me help.”

Cas briefly turned around. “I’m fine, Dean,” he said, glowering. “I may as well help you since you’re going to help me clean up my injuries and bandage them up.”

Dean grabbed the duffel from Cas’s shoulder. “There’s no need to do that, Cas. Let’s just get you cleaned up.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he mumbled. He stopped in front of his room and opened the door. He rarely used the room, as evidenced by the crisp sheets and the many layers of dust that covered every surface in the room. Cas sat down on the bed and sighed, letting himself sink into the mattress. 

“I’m gonna go grab some supplies,” Dean said. He came back less than five minutes later with an armful of medical supplies. He dropped them on the bed next to Cas. “Can you take off your coat and shirt?” he asked. Cas could feel Dean’s gaze latched on the deep cuts in his back. “It’ll be easier for me to get to the wounds.”

Cas nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He slipped his trench coat off his shoulders and assessed its condition. There were large slits in the back where his wings had poked through, made even worse once the demon started ripping the wings to shreds. He finished taking his suit jacket and dress shirt off, noticing that the once-white shirt was now bright red. He sighed and dropped them on the ground at his feet.

Gently, Dean began cleaning his wounds. Cas winced as Dean accidentally ran the cloth over his back with a little too much force. Dean apologized, but Cas told him it was fine. He needed to clean the wounds somehow. It took a while, but soon Dean was done cleaning Cas up and putting some bandages over the gaping cuts on his back. He even tried to do something about Cas’s other minor injuries, such as his bruises and his sore neck, but Cas told him not to bother, to just let them heal in their own time. 

“Does that feel okay?” Dean asked, standing behind Cas and packing up the supplies he hadn’t used. “Do you want some pain medication or anything? Alcohol?”

Cas turned to face Dean and rolled his eyes. “No, no alcohol. And I don’t know that pain medication would do anything for me.”

Dean rounded the bed and sat down next to Cas. “If you’re sure.” He paused, looking contemplative. “You should probably get some sleep, Cas. Like you said, you lost a lot of power today. A little bit of sleep might do you some good.”

Cas shrugged and tapped his foot against the ground. “Yeah, I guess so.” He stood up and gestured for Dean to get off the bed. He started to pull back the sheets, but Dean stopped him.

“I’m gonna go grab you some more comfortable clothes for you to wear tonight,” Dean said. “I’ll be back soon.” He came back a few moments later with a loose pair of sweatpants and an old, faded AC/DC tee-shirt. He dropped them in Cas’s waiting arms and told him to go change, turning his back so Cas could do so with a little bit of privacy.

“Is that better?” Cas asked, an annoyed tone in his voice. 

Dean turned back around and grinned. “Yeah,” he said. “You’ll be much more comfortable sleeping in that than you would be sleeping in your normal clothes.”

Cas lifted the edge of the tee-shirt and examined the hem. “I can see why you humans prefer this kind of attire during the night hours,” Cas said, more to himself than to Dean. “This feels… very nice.”

The corner of Dean’s mouth lifted in a half-smile and he shook his head. “Good. Try to get a nice amount of sleep. It’ll help you heal. I promise.”

Cas sighed a little but complied, pulling back the sheets and climbing into his barely used bed. He pulled the sheets up to his collarbone and turned on his side. The last thing he heard before he fell fast asleep was Dean exiting his room, taking Cas’s ruined clothes and the extra supplies with him.

* * *

Dean rolled his eyes as soon as he heard pots and pans clattering in the kitchen. He figured Sam was probably in there, cooking something so healthy it would probably annoy Dean. He turned on his side and shrugged. He would deal with that later, after he got a few more minutes of sleep.

After about five more minutes of rest, Dean got up and got dressed, throwing the first thing he saw on. The clothes could have been sitting there for weeks and Dean would have had no clue, but he didn’t really care that much. He grabbed his phone from his nightstand and made his way to the kitchen to see what all the racket was about. 

He stopped as soon as he got to the kitchen, surprised to see Cas there, something cooking on the stove and a fresh pot of coffee brewing on the counter. He went to the stove and cracked a few eggs in one of the pans. He went over to the other pan and flipped a pancake over, ending up with part of it on the ground by his feet.

“What’s going on, Cas?” Dean asked, stepping further into the kitchen. “What’s the occasion?”

Cas turned around quickly, accidentally dropping one of the empty eggshells he had been holding. “I’m making breakfast.”

Dean snorted. “I can see that. Any reason why?”

Cas shrugged. “I don’t know. I got kind of bored just sitting in my room, so I got up and made breakfast. I guess it’s sort of a thank you for taking care of me last night, after… you know. All that.”

Dean took a seat at the table and propped his chin on his hands. “Well, I appreciate that. But you really didn’t have to do that. I care about you, and so does Sam. We’ll help you out no matter what and we don’t expect anything in return.”

Cas stooped down to pick up his fallen eggshell and dropped it in the trash can. He turned back to the stove and continued making breakfast. He didn’t say anything for a while, and Dean assumed he probably had no clue what to say in return. 

“So,” Dean said, trying to break the silence, “how did you sleep last night?”

Cas shrugged. “Not that well. I’m not really used to it.” He put another egg in the pan on the stove. “I woke up a while ago and grew bored very easily so I came here to make something to eat.”

Dean nodded slowly. “All right, then. You should probably eat something too. It’ll help you.”

Dean saw Cas’s shoulders visibly drop. He wanted to go over and console him, but he didn’t know what to say. He knew that Cas was upset about losing his wings and using all his power, but he just hoped that the angel would comply so he could get better. Not eating and not sleeping wouldn’t help him at all, and in the long run it would probably make his condition a lot worse than it already was. 

“Hey,” Sam said, walking in with a large water bottle in his hand and a pair of earbuds dangling from his ears. His eyes focused on Cas at the stove, cooking. He gave him a weird look before shrugging and taking a seat at the table, across from Dean. 

“Good morning, Sam,” Cas said, carrying a plate stacked full of pancakes and one with a substantial amount of scrambled eggs. He set them down, then went back to the counter to grab the mugs he had filled with coffee. 

“Thank you,” Sam said politely, grabbing some eggs and a few pancakes.

Cas sat down next to Dean and gave a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

The three sat in silence as the Winchesters ate their breakfast, still thanking Cas for making it, even though Sam had no clue why Cas had decided to make a nice spread for the morning. Once he was done, Sam stood up and left, saying something about how he wanted to do some research on some lesser-known lore. 

“Cas,” Dean said, putting the used and empty plates by the sink so he could wash them later, “why don’t you eat something? Why waste the food you worked so hard to prepare?”

Cas sighed. “I’m not really hungry, Dean,” he said, picking at the hem of Dean’s AC/DC tee-shirt. 

Dean took the seat across from Cas. “Come on,” he said quietly. “I know this whole situation is new and you’re not used to it, but I’m trying to help you. Now, please, try to eat at least something. It might make you feel better.”

Cas frowned, but he did end up grabbing a plate. He scooped some eggs onto the plate and grabbed a pancake. He took a bite of each, then put his fork down, a contemplative look on his face. 

“Is something wrong?” Dean asked, worried. 

Cas shook his head. “No. It just tastes… different. I thought it would taste better.”

Dean chuckled. “I normally put some salt and pepper on the eggs and some butter on the pancakes. It gives them a different flavor, and, in my opinion, a much better taste.”

Cas grabbed the salt and pepper shakers and put a little bit on his eggs. He spread a bit of butter on his pancake and took a bite. “It’s good,” he said simply. “I like that.” He quickly finished the rest of his meal, shoveling down bits of egg and pieces of his pancake. 

“Did that make you feel better?” Dean asked once Cas was finished. He helped Cas clear the table and clean the dishes at the sink.

Cas hesitated a bit. “A little bit, I guess.” He handed Dean the final plate that needed to be washed.

“Well,” Dean said, rinsing the plate under the steady stream of water, “that’s a start. Why don’t you head to your room and try to get some more sleep? That’ll help as well. I’ll come by later with some clothes you can wear so you don’t have to keep wearing those sweatpants and old tee-shirt.”

“Okay. I can try that.” He didn’t say anything else, just turned on his heel and headed back in the direction of his own room.

* * *

Cas stumbled into his room and shut the door behind him firmly. He went over to his bed and collapsed on top of the rumpled sheets from the night before. He hadn’t bothered to make the bed, and frankly he had no clue why anyone would do that. They were just going to mess it up again, so what was the point?

He contemplated the past twenty-four hours while lying on his back, hands folded over his stomach, staring at the ceiling. An intense feeling of guilt passed through his mind, and he took a while to try and place it. He was guilty about the night before. He hadn’t meant to get captured by the demon, but it happened anyway. The demon hurt him and cut his wings off, meaning the Winchesters had to take care of him afterwards. They shouldn’t have had to do that. Cas could take care of himself.

Cas turned on his side and stared at the ground next to his bed. He had left his dress pants there overnight, and looking at the sprays of blood that dotted them brought back horrible memories, terrible thoughts about his own condition. He was, essentially, useless. He couldn’t heal, he could barely fight, and he had a plethora of wounds that wouldn’t heal because he had lost so much of his power. 

The Winchesters were going to kick him out. He just knew it. They didn’t care about him. They just cared about what Cas could do for them, help them out when they were in trouble.

Cas felt something wet roll down his cheek. He reached his hand up and brushed away the tears that were falling from his eyes. 

It was stupid. He had no reason to cry. He was a millennia old, he could deal with his problems without crying. But still, he cried. He buried his head into the pillow and cried until he eventually fell asleep.

* * *

Dean walked past Cas’s room around lunchtime, planning on asking the angel to eat something, just anything, for lunch. He knocked on the door a few times but got no response. He twisted the doorknob and headed in. Cas was curled up on his bed, lying on top of the sheets like he hadn’t even meant to fall asleep. He was about to leave to let Cas sleep a little longer, but he noticed something shiny on Cas’s face that looked a little too much like tears. 

“Cas!” he said, his voice a loud whisper. He sat down on the bed next to Cas and gently shook his shoulder. “Cas, are you okay? Is something wrong?”

Cas rolled onto his back and wiped his hand across his face. Once he noticed Dean sitting there, he batted Dean’s hand away from where it was resting on his shoulder. 

“Cas,” Dean prompted again. “Are you all right?”

Cas sat up and stared at his door. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, and Dean was starting to get worried. He didn’t know what was wrong, but he knew that Cas wasn’t acting like himself. 

“I was just… I was thinking about sad things before I fell asleep,” Cas said. He said it quietly and averted eye contact, instead looking at the rumpled sheets he was sitting on. Dean had a feeling he was lying, but he didn’t want to press anything. 

“Okay,” Dean said slowly. He put a pair of jeans and a plain tee-shirt on Cas’s bed. “I brought you some clothes you could change into, if you want to. You don’t have to.”

Cas picked up the shirt and observed it. “I will. Thank you, Dean.”

“No problem,” Dean replied. “Come grab lunch in the kitchen.”

Dean left and went to the kitchen. He threw together something for lunch and left it on the table for Cas whenever he came in. 

Cas walked into the kitchen a few moments later. He took a seat at the table and ate the food Dean had left out for him. When he finished, he took his plate to the sink and then went back to his room. 

“Shit,” Dean muttered under his breath. He followed Cas to his room, catching the other man just before he opened the door to his room. 

“Dean,” Cas said, pausing with his hand on the doorknob.

“Can I check on your wounds?” Dean asked. “I might have to change the bandages.”

Cas shrugged. “Sure. Why not?” He opened the door and stood aside so Dean could get in. He walked in after him and shut the door. He sat down on the middle of his bed, his back facing towards Dean. He lifted his shirt off his back and folded it up, setting it in his lap. 

Dean gently peeled the bandages off of Cas’s back, wincing as he took in the nasty red lines running down Cas’s back. He started to clean them up, trying his best not to hurt Cas or make the wounds worse than they already were. 

“Can I ask you a question, Cas?” Dean asked, pausing his work on cleaning up Cas’s wounds. 

Cas shrugged. “Yeah, I suppose.”

Dean put down the cloth and walked around the side of the bed. He sat down next to Cas and angled his body so he was facing towards Cas. “What were you really crying about earlier? ‘Cause I know it wasn’t because you were thinking about random sad things before you fell asleep.”

Cas sighed. He looked down at the shirt he was holding in his lap. “I wasn’t thinking about that. I…” He trailed off and looked up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. “I was just frustrated with everything that has happened. It’s… It’s different, not having the powers that I’m used to. I feel useless.”

Dean reached a hand forward to rest on Cas’s shoulder. “You’re not useless, Cas.”

Cas twisted his shirt around his fists and shook his head, denying what Dean had just said. “I’m afraid you and Sam are going to kick me out because I’m useless. I don’t have my powers right now. I can’t heal anyone, can’t--” He cut himself with a shaky deep breath in.

Dean frowned. “Cas, we would never kick you out. You’re part of our family. We care about you, no matter what.” He tightened his grip on Cas’s shoulder and gave him a soft look. “Don’t think like that, okay?”

Cas pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. He nodded slowly. “All right,” he said quietly. “I understand. I guess I… I don’t know. I guess this is all new for me and I’m not used to feeling like this. I’m not used to feeling…” He trailed off and frowned. “Useless. Helpless.” He stared at the ground and shrugged. “I guess that sounds stupid.”

Dean shook his head. “No, it’s not stupid.” He leaned in closer to Cas and settled his hand on Cas’s knee. He was so close, he could just reach forward and kiss the angel, touch him, be close to him. But he didn’t know if he should do that. He liked Cas, he knew that, but he didn’t know how Cas felt in return. For all Dean knew, Cas secretly hated Dean and only just barely tolerated being in his presence. 

Dean cleared his throat, banishing those thoughts from his mind. He stood up and gave Cas’s shoulder a final pat. “I’m gonna finish bandaging you up, okay?”

Cas nodded. He unfolded his legs and sat up so Dean would have better access to the wounds on his back. Gently, Dean placed the bandages on Cas’s back and secured them, making sure they would stay and that nothing could get in and cause an infection. 

“There,” Dean said, observing the bandages once more to make sure they were good to go, “all done. You okay?”

Cas unfolded the shirt he had been holding in his lap and quickly threw it on. He twisted around so he could look at Dean and gave him a warm smile. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”

Dean inclined his head. “Yeah. ‘Course, man. No problem.” He scratched at the back of his head, trying his best to tear his gaze away from the rare smile Cas was giving him. He gestured over his shoulder towards the door. “I’m gonna head back to my room.”

Cas nodded. “All right. Goodbye.”

Dean gave him a wave and a small smile. “I’ll see you later, Cas.”


	2. Chapter 2

Dean waved Sam over as soon as he saw him come into the library. “Hey, Sam,” he said, turning the laptop screen towards his brother, “I think I found us a case. Check this out.”

Sam yawned as he walked over to the computer. “Cool. Can you tell me about it later, maybe during the drive there? I’m kind of tired right now.”

Dean turned his laptop back towards himself and closed the lid. “Sure. I could use some breakfast right now, anyway.”

Dean led the two of them to the kitchen. He grabbed a mug and poured some coffee in it, bringing the filled mug over to the table. Sam did the same, also grabbing some eggs from the fridge so he could make some for breakfast. Instead, Dean grabbed two pieces of bread, put them in the toaster, and spread some butter on the slices once they were done in the toaster. 

“Do you think Cas is up yet?” Sam asked, bringing his finished plate of eggs over to the table. “I could make him some eggs if he wanted, but I don’t want to do it now because they taste bad when they’re cold.”

Dean shrugged. He took a swig of coffee from his mug and set it down on the table a little too hard, accidentally causing some of the hot liquid to splash over the side of the mug. “I don’t know. He’ll get up whenever he wants. He deserves to sleep a little while longer, if that’s what he wants.”

Just as he said that, Cas walked into the kitchen. He made a beeline for the coffee machine, pouring a generous amount into one of the biggest mugs they had in the bunker. 

“Rough night?” Dean asked with a small chuckle as Cas took a seat at the table. 

Cas slowly looked up at Dean and glared. Dean frowned at the dark circles he saw under the angel’s eyes. “I didn’t sleep that well,” Cas said simply, tipping the mug back and downing at least half of it. “Or at all, really.”

Dean set down the piece of toast he was about to eat. “You didn’t sleep?”

Cas shook his head. “It’s not really a big deal. I used to never sleep, so it doesn’t matter that much.”

“Well, that was… before,” Sam explained. “Sleep is really important for you right now. Doing more humanly activities will help aid you in your recovery, even though you might think they won’t help.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say.” He put down his mug. “Do you think we should find a case? It’s been a few days since we’ve been on one.”

Sam cleared his throat. “Actually, Dean just found one this morning. He was going to explain it to us on our way there.”

Cas gave a slow nod. “Okay. That sounds good. Just let me eat something and then we can leave whenever you guys want to.”

Dean paused, his mug at his lips, ready to take a sip of coffee. He put his mug down and gave Cas an intense look. “You’re not coming.”

“What do you mean I’m not coming?” Cas asked, almost throwing down his coffee mug rather than gently setting it down on the table. “I’m perfectly capable of helping out on a case. It’s not like I can’t do anything.”

“Cas,” Dean started, trying to sound reasonable, “I know you want to help, but I think it’s a little early right now for you to do so. Like you were telling me, you’re not used to being without your powers. It’ll be difficult for you to fight in your condition right now. I don’t--” He choked on a breath. “I don’t want to risk losing you. I can’t.”

“I’ll be fine,” Cas said firmly. “I can fight.”

“You’re recovering from some serious injuries right now,” Dean said, his voice rising so much it was close to a scream. “It would be  _ dangerous _ for you to come on this case with us.”

Cas leaned back and folded his arms over his chest. “You were just telling me that I’m not useless. What changed?”

Dean sighed. “Cas, it’s just too soon. You need to heal a little more before you can go on some cases.”

Cas didn’t say anything, just picked up his mug and took a sip from it. He set it back down and folded his hands together, setting them on the table in front of him. “Fine. I’ll stay here.”

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Cas. I understand this whole situation is frustrating, but I’m just looking out for you.” He set his hand on the table, reaching toward Cas. Thinking better of it, he retracted his arm, instead reaching for his second piece of toast. “We’re going to leave in a little while. You can use the TV if you want. I don’t care. Feel free to watch some of the movies I’ve been trying to get you to watch for a while now.”

Cas nodded slowly. “Okay. That sounds fine.” He finished the last few drops of his coffee before pushing away from the table and heading to his room.

“What was all that about?” Sam asked. “Why did you have to be so mean about all that?”

Dean let out a strangled noise and let his head fall on the table. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. He sat back up and finished the rest of his breakfast. “Let’s just go.”

* * *

“So,” Sam said, “what’s going on with this case?” The two of them had been on the road for about half an hour by then. Sam tapped along to the music on the door of the car. 

Dean stopped at a light and waited for it to turn green. “It seems like a ghost thing, possibly ghost possession. A bunch of people reported their friends turning kinda weird and killing people who had wronged them in the past. Seemed like our kinda thing.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah. Uh, can we talk about the whole situation with Cas this morning? He seemed really upset. You should probably call and apologize.”

Dean sighed, his shoulders sinking. He turned up the music and refocused his attention on the road, refusing to speak for at least ten minutes. 

Once he was ready, Dean turned down the radio, sad to see Led Zeppelin’s “Ramble On” go. He sighed and cleared his throat. “I’m just worried about Cas. He… He’s not seemed himself recently, especially after he got his wings cut off. I just don’t want him to get hurt. I care about him, and I think he’s trying to rush into things too soon. He needs time to heal before he gets back into hunting.”

“Dean,” Sam interrupted. “I get that. I just wish you weren’t so hard on him. He just wants to get out of the bunker which, frankly, I don’t blame him for that. Just, I don’t know, apologize to him.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. I will. But I want to do it in person, once we get back after the case.”

“Okay,” Sam said simply. He turned the music back up and settled into his seat, staying silent for the rest of the ride.

* * *

Cas leaned back into the couch and sighed, readjusting the plate that was sitting in his lap. The TV sat in front of him, playing some random western movie he had found playing. He wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on. Occasionally, he would try to pay attention to the plot, but he had missed so much of it that it went right over his head. 

He was pissed. He couldn’t seem to understand, no matter how much Dean tried to explain it, why Dean didn’t want Cas to go on the case. He would have been fine. He can fight, kill, and be helpful during a hunt. Just because he was going through a rough time at the moment didn’t mean he still couldn’t do the things he used to. 

Cas turned the TV off and stood up, collecting the dishes he had used for lunch and piled them up on his right arm. He brought them to the kitchen, dropping the small stack in the sink. He would wash them later, once he had finished dinner later that night. 

“Fuck,” Cas mumbled, looking down at the time on his phone. Somehow, it was already seven at night. Now that he thought about it, he had been getting kind of hungry. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew he needed to eat and sleep 

Cas quickly threw together something small to eat. He grabbed some fruit and a granola bar, taking it all to the table. He ate it as quickly as he could before going back for some more fruit and a glass of water. 

It was so quiet in the bunker. Cas wished someone else were there with him. It didn’t even have to be a human. He thought it would be nice to have an animal as a companion, perhaps a cat or even a dog, though he didn’t enjoy dogs as much as he did cats. Just, something there to keep him company when he was alone. It was all he wanted. 

Cas sighed and quickly cleaned up the table. He washed the dishes and left them out to dry overnight. He would deal with them the next morning, after he had breakfast. 

Slowly, he made his way to his room, dragging his feet in the long hallways in the bunker. He got to his room and collapsed into his bed, not even bothering to change into something more comfortable than the jeans he was wearing.

* * *

It didn’t take Sam and Dean that long to find out what was causing the murders. As expected, it had been ghost possession. They had asked around for a while about any weird deaths that had happened in that town. A man by the name of Zach Thomas had died about twenty years prior, allegedly at the hands of his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend. The two had been enemies even before they both had been involved with the girlfriend. The whole story had been a little weird, but Sam and Dean had experienced even weirder stories on even weirder cases. 

They had only been in the town for two days before they located what Zach Thomas had left behind. His parents had kept a chunk of skin that he had accidentally cut off his finger when he was using a saw. They located it and burned it, easily stopping the ghost possessions that had been happening. 

“Ready to go home?” Dean asked, throwing the last of his belongings into his duffel bag. 

Sam threw his bag over his shoulder and started to head towards the door. “Yeah. I’ll go out to the car right now. You can join me whenever you’re done.” 

Dean zipped his bag shut and sat down on the bed. He pulled his legs up and tied his shoes, making sure they were on securely. Once he was done, he went outside and hopped in the Impala. He wasted no time starting the engine and beginning their journey back to the bunker. The whole ride there, he couldn’t help thinking about what he wanted to say to Cas, how he was going to apologize for the way he treated him.

And, above all else, address how much he wanted to kiss the angel’s lips.

Dean silently yelled at himself for thinking that. There was no way Cas thought of him in the same way. He returned his attention to the road and focused on making his way home as quickly as possible.

A few hours later, Dean pulled into the bunker’s garage, stopping the car in its normal spot and killing the engine. He pushed his door open stumbled out of the car, accidentally tripping over his own feet in his haste to get into the bunker. 

“Got a hot date or something?” Sam asked, shutting his car door as soon as he got out. 

Dean shook his head. “No, I… I just have to speak to Cas and I want to do it sooner rather than later.”

Sam simply nodded. “Okay.” He went to the back to grab his belongings before disappearing into the bunker. 

Dean took in a deep breath and held it. Slowly, he let it out, letting his posture relax and his head hang a bit. He could do this. It couldn’t be  _ that _ difficult.

Dean dropped his duffel bag in his room before looking around the bunker for Cas. He checked Cas’s usual spots: the library, the kitchen, his room, the Dean Cave. The angel wasn’t in any of those locations. He contemplated tearing apart the entire bunker on his own, but he knew that would take a long time.

He sent Cas a text asking where he was and waited for a bit. He even sent a few others, even though he knew they would probably annoy Cas. After around ten minutes with no reply, Dean began to worry.

“Sam!” Dean called, somehow ending up in front of Sam’s door. 

Sam slowly opened the door and poked his head out. “Yeah?”

Dean shifted his weight from foot to foot. “I can’t find Cas in any of his usual locations and he hasn’t answered any of my texts. Can you help me look around the bunker for him? He could be anywhere in here.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, of course.” He stepped out of his room and headed to the left. “I’ll check out all the rooms this way and you can check the other direction?”

“Yeah,” Dean said. He headed off in his indicated direction, stopping in every room and checking if Cas was there. He headed into most of the rooms, just in case Cas, for whatever reason, wouldn’t be able to answer Dean when he called out his name. Eventually, he finished checking out his section of the bunker. He was about to look everything over again when he noticed one of the lesser-known doors to exit the bunker was slightly ajar. 

“What the fuck?” he mumbled to himself. He took a few hesitant steps towards the door before heading outside, making sure he had his hand near his gun, just in case there was a dangerous threat outside. 

He headed around the side, towards the open fields behind the bunker. There was so much out there because no one took care of the fields, so he couldn’t tell at first glance if there was anyone outside.

His eyes fixated on a figure in the distance, distinctly familiar. It was Cas, sitting on a large rock. He was holding something in his lap, but Dean couldn’t figure out what it was because he was too far away. Dean slowly walked over. Cas was petting a small cat, possibly still a kitten, and speaking to it. Dean couldn’t make out what Cas was saying to the animal, but he was sure it was very sweet. 

Dean squatted down next to Cas and slowly reached his hand out, gently laying it on Cas’s elbow. “Hey,” he said quietly.

Cas turned to look at Dean. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean pointed to the cat sitting in Cas’s lap. “I see you have a cat there. Are you going to keep it? Does it have a name?”

Cas lifted the cat up and held it out in front of him. The way he was holding the cat reminded Dean of the Lion King, except Cas’s cat was facing the wrong direction. “I think I’m going to keep him. I don’t know what to name him yet, though.”

“Hmm,” Dean said. He stood up and wiped off his knees. “Do you wanna come inside to talk right now?”

Cas shrugged. “Sure.” He pulled the cat to his chest and stood up. He followed Dean into the bunker and they both made their way to Dean’s room. “So,” he said once Dean closed the door to his room, “what did you want to talk about?”

Dean sat down and gestured for Cas to do the same. He did, making sure the cat was still comfortable sitting in his lap. “I just wanted to apologize for being so rude to you about not coming on the hunt with us. I… I’m just worried about you rushing back into hunting too fast and then you might end up getting hurt even more.”

Cas frowned. “I understand your concern, but I would have been fine. I don’t need you looking after me every second of the day.”

“Well,” Dean started, arms crossed, “I don’t need you watching over me either, but sometimes it’s nice to know that someone out there cares about you. You’ll help me and Sam whenever we need the help.”

The corner of Cas’s mouth quirked upwards. “When you put it that way, it sounds better.”

Dean leaned back on the bed, using his arms to support himself. “It does, doesn’t it?” He returned the smile Cas was giving him. “I just worry about you a lot. I guess I would have felt guilty if something bad happened during the hunt because it would have been my fault.”

Cas shook his head. “No, it wouldn’t have been your fault. I could never blame you for that.”

Dean sighed and nodded. “I know, Cas. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Cas said. He stood up, getting ready to leave. 

Dean reached his hand out and gripped the end of Cas’s coat. He didn’t want to be alone, not yet. Maybe, just possibly, he was going to take a risk. 

He tugged on Cas’s coat until Cas turned around. “Stay? Just for a bit.”

Cas gave a curt nod and took a seat. “Sure.”

Dean let out a small, happy smile. He leaned in closer to Cas, trying his best not to crowd the cat’s space. “Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly, he voice breathy.

“Yes,” Cas said, just as quiet, just as breathy. He let go of the cat, letting the little animal scamper around Dean’s room. He closed the distance between him and Dean, reaching his hands up and carding them through Dean’s hair. Dean sighed happily into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Cas’s shoulders. 

Dean completely lost himself in the bliss of the moment for a few seconds, forgetting about every worry he ever had about a possible relationship between him and Cas. He pulled away suddenly, every worry he had forgotten rushing back to him. 

“Dean, are you okay?” Cas asked, staring down at Dean with concern in his eyes. 

Dean pushed away from Cas and moved back against the backboard, letting his head fall back against the wall. He dropped his head in his hands, not bothering to look at Cas’s face.

Cas stood up from the bed and stooped down to pick up his cat. He left the room and went back to his own room. He let the cat jump from his arms. The small animal wandered around the room, poking its head around every corner and walking under the desk and bed. 

Cas sighed and fell back into his bed. He didn’t know what had happened. One second, he and Dean were happily kissing. The next, Dean had pushed Cas away as if he had made some sort of horrible mistake. Dean probably regretted everything, the confession to caring about him and the kiss. He probably wouldn’t speak to Cas ever again, wouldn’t even want to still be friends. This time, he thought Dean would really want to kick him out of the bunker. 

Cas curled onto his side and stared over at his cat. The cat was sitting under Cas’s desk, licking one of his outstretched paws. The cat stood up and hopped on the bed, curling up next to Cas. Cas gave the cat a small little pat before trying to fall asleep for the night. 

* * *

A week later, Dean and Cas still hadn’t spoken about the “incident” with the kiss. People barely left the bunker. Cas left to get supplies to take care of his cat who he had decided to name Caramel. Sam had left to get groceries, but that was about as much as anybody left the bunker that whole week. 

Cas set Caramel up in his room with a bed, food, water, a litter box, and some toys to play with. He would let the cat leave his room, but he didn’t feel like leaving his room to try and find the cat. He didn’t want to risk running into Dean and having to talk to him. He just couldn’t do it. He only risked leaving the room to head to the library and grab some books to read. 

He tried to look for a case, but he didn’t want to use Sam’s laptop for too long. It was nice of Sam to let him use it, but he didn’t enjoy overusing other people’s things. He couldn’t find a case. He felt trapped in the bunker, no where else to go. He didn’t like it very much. 

“Hi, Caramel,” Cas said, petting the cat as he jumped on the bed next to Cas. Caramel moved and sat on Cas’s book, draping his tail across the section Cas had just been reading. “Caramel! Come on! I’m reading that.”

The cat just stared at Cas before lying down and curling up on the book. Yeah, he wasn’t moving anytime soon. 

Cas grabbed another book from the stack he kept of his desk. He sat cross-legged on his bed, leaning back against the headboard and setting the book in his lap. He tried to focus on the words, but he couldn’t help but think about how he was ever going to speak to Dean again. They couldn’t just walk around the bunker, ignoring each other for the rest of their lives. He wanted to leave his room a lot more often than he did, but he was afraid to see Dean’s condescending face. Dean probably regretted their kiss, regretted the feel of Cas’s lips against his. 

Cas liked him. He had known it for years. The kiss made Cas feel as though Dean had finally reciprocated his feelings, but apparent he was wrong. It hurt, the pain running deep through his chest and into his heart. 

He couldn’t deal with it, didn’t even want to deal with it. Everything was all too much. The pain in his heart combined with the pain from his physical injuries made things so much worse, so much more unbearable. 

Cas returned his attention to the book sitting in his lap. He didn’t want to think about everything else. He just wanted a distraction from all the problems in his life, as much of a distraction as he could get. 

* * *

Dean tipped his head back and downed another shot of whiskey. He had to get out of the bunker, so he went to the closest bar he could find. It wasn’t that nice in there, and the alcohol wasn’t that good, but it was a nice change of scenery from the same bland walls he had been around for a week. The whole drive there he was trying to distract himself from his thoughts by blasting loud music and singing along. It worked, but only for a little bit. 

“Another one,” he called, setting the shot glass down on the counter. The bartender came over to refill it for Dean, the woman giving him a wink before walking away to serve someone else. 

Dean sighed and pushed the shot glass away from him. He wanted to drink it, but maybe not at the moment. 

He just wanted to be with Cas, even though he knew Cas didn’t feel the same way. Dean didn’t regret their kiss; he had taken a chance he knew he probably wouldn’t have taken in different circumstances. Even though he really liked Cas--hell, he might even be in love with Cas--he just wished he hadn’t done anything. He thought it might have been a mistake. Right now, they would still be friends instead of two people who barely talk to each other. Sure, Dean would be hopelessly crushing on Cas, but at least they would be talking. 

“You gonna drink that or you just going to stare at it?” a new voice asked from Dean’s right. Dean turned his head and saw a woman a little younger than him sitting next to him. She gave him a flirtatious smile once she noticed that Dean was looking at her. 

Dean looked down at the whiskey and shrugged. “I don’t know. I was just thinking for a second.”

The woman laughed and leaned in closer to him. “Need to take your mind off things?”

Dean picked up the shot glass and turned it in his hand, observing each side of the glass. “No. I think I’m good.”

The woman frowned. “If you say so.” She pushed away from the counter and stood up, arms crossed over her chest. Dean watched her walk away, off to try to flirt with someone else. 

Dean returned to his whiskey and downed it in one gulp. He set the shot glass back on the table before pulling out his wallet and dropping some cash on the counter. He left, heading to his car and preparing to drive back to the bunker.

* * *

“Hey, Cas. I was just looking for you,” said Sam’s familiar voice.

Cas turned around, pausing in the middle of his search for another book to read. He set the book he was currently holding down on the table. “You were?” he asked. 

Sam nodded. “Yeah. I was just wondering what happened last week. You and Dean were fine, I thought. I thought he apologized to you about keeping you out of the hunt, but you two haven’t spoken to each other this entire week. Is something wrong?”

Cas sighed. He went over to the table to sit down, gesturing for Sam to do the same if he wanted to. “It’s a long story,” Cas explained, his voice taking on a tired tone. 

Sam took the seat across from Cas. “I don’t mind. I just want to know what’s going on because the two of you are normally best friends. You guys talk to each other every day and watch movies and stuff together. You haven’t done that at all this past week.”

Cas looked down at his hands, trying his best to avoid any eye contact with Sam. He didn’t want to reveal what he was feeling, at least not yet. “I guess that is weird,” Cas said.

Sam leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “Come on, Cas. I’m not stupid. Something happened and I want you to tell me.”

Cas slowly lifted his head. “Dean was… apologizing, I guess, about not letting me go on the hunt. I forgave him, and I thought our conversation was over. He asked me to stay and then asked me if he could kiss me. I said it was fine, but I guess he freaked out or something.” Cas stared at his hand, tapping out a pattern on the table. “After the kiss, he pushed me away. I thought he regretted it and didn’t want to be near me anymore, so I left. I haven’t even tried to be near him for this past week, just to give him some space.”

Sam frowned, taking in everything Cas had just told him. He leaned further into his chair, still contemplating. “I don’t know what to tell you, Cas,” he started. “But, I do feel as though you should try to talk to Dean. It might have just been a misunderstanding, and you two are ignoring each other for nothing.”

Cas nodded. “Yeah,” he sighed, “I guess you’re right. Thank you, Sam.”

“Sure,” Sam said. “No problem. I might try to talk to Dean as well, but I won’t mention anything specific about our conversation.”

“Yeah, of course,” Cas said. He went to stand up, but he felt something rub up against his leg. He looked down and saw Caramel rubbing his head against Cas’s leg. Cas stooped down to pick the little kitten up, cradling him in his arms. “Sam, this is Caramel.”

Sam stood up and walked around the table. Gently, he scratched Caramel’s back. “Hi, Caramel,” he said quietly, trying not to spook the cat. He returned his attention to Cas. “When did you get the cat?”

Cas shrugged. “About a week ago. He was a stray. I found him hanging out behind the bunker, and it seemed like he needed a home.”

“Well, he’s adorable,” Sam said. He went to the table and picked up a book. “I have to get back to reading this, but good luck talking to Dean.”

Cas let Caramel down. “Thank you, Sam.” He didn’t get to hear what Sam had to say because Caramel started to sprint towards Cas’s room. He quickly grabbed his book and followed the cat. “You’re a lot to handle,” Cas said, shaking his head at the cat once they both were in Cas’s room. He sat down on his bed and cracked open the book. “But I love you anyway.”

* * *

Dean stumbled through the bunker’s hallways, accidentally running into a few walls. He was trying not to make too much noise, but he knew he was failing miserably. Somehow, he managed to make it back to his room unscathed. He closed the door shut behind him and sank to the ground, leaning back against his closed door. It had been a bad decision to drink as much as he had, but in the moment it had seemed like the best decision he had ever made. It distracted himself from thoughts of Cas, and he got to just sit there and think of nothing. Truly, it had been a pleasant feeling. But now he had to deal with the aftermath of his poor decisions. 

Someone knocked on his door, causing Dean to scramble away from the door. “What?” he asked, struggling to stand up.

“It’s me,” said Sam’s familiar voice. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Dean said. 

Sam opened the door and came into the room. He barely shut the door behind him. Dean was too tired to care, but he was still annoyed his brother was bothering him.

“So,” Dean said, taking a seat on his bed, arms folded over his chest. He pulled his legs up and sat cross-legged. “I’m assuming you wanted to talk about something.”

Sam pulled Dean’s desk chair over and took a seat. “Yeah. Uh, I’ve just noticed you and Cas haven’t really been talking lately. It’s worrying. The two of you talk all the time, and you watch movies together and stuff.”

Dean stared at his brother. “So?”

Sam gave an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes. “ _ So _ , you two always talk. You two are best friends, practically joined at the hip. Something had to have happened, and I want to know what it was.”

Dean unfolded his arms and leaned back, using his arms to hold himself up. “It…” He trailed off, unsure of how to explain everything. “I think I love Cas.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh? Is that so?”

Dean glared at his brother. “Yes. And I’m afraid I fucked everything up. I kissed him, but then I freaked out. I had asked him if it was okay to kiss him, and he said yes, but I couldn’t help thinking I had made a mistake. What if he doesn’t really like me back? What if, I don’t know, he doesn’t want to talk to me because he thinks it’s stupid that I like him? How can we be friends again?”   
  


Sam held his hands out. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, Dean.” He waited until Dean seemed a little calmer before continuing. “Don’t you think these are questions you should be asking Cas? I don’t think I can help you out. Neither of us can read minds, so you’re not gonna know unless you talk to Cas.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I should go talk to Cas.”

Sam wrinkled his nose. “Not now, Dean. Wait until you’re sober. I don’t think Cas would appreciate you talking to him while you’re drunk off your ass.”

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Sam.” He stood up, just to demonstrate, but he tripped over his feet and almost tumbled onto the ground. “Never mind.”

Sam snorted. “That’s what I thought.” He got up to leave but paused just before he reached the door. “I can smell the whiskey on your breath, by the way.”

Dean threw a pillow at Sam’s head, narrowly missing his brother by a few inches. Instead, he raised his middle finger at Sam. Sam laughed and rolled his eyes before heading out of Dean’s room.

Dean grumbled to himself as he got out of bed to retrieve his pillow. He shut his door all the way because Sam liked to leave it open just a crack, just to annoy Dean. He went back to his bed, collapsing onto the rumpled sheets and falling asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Dean woke up the next morning with a slight headache. It wasn’t that bad, but just bad enough that he didn’t want to get out of bed. He stayed in his room for at least an hour, willing the pounding in his head to go away. It soon did, and Dean began to feel just a bit better. He needed something to eat.

Slowly, Dean got up. He grabbed the first things he could see and threw them on: a pair of jeans that probably hadn’t been washed in a week and soft, faded, nicely worn in Led Zeppelin tee-shirt. He grabbed his phone and slipped it in his pocket before heading out of his room, making his way to the kitchen. 

“Morning, Dean,” Sam said from his seat at the table. He was sipping from a mug and there was a full pot of coffee on the table in front of him.

“Hey,” Dean said, making a beeline for the cabinet so he could grab a mug. He went back to the table and filled the mug to the brim, wishing he could fit even more coffee in there.

“There’s some leftover bacon, if you want that,” Sam suggested. “I can get it ready for you.”

Dean nodded, his eyes half closed. He barely had enough energy to lift his coffee mug to his lips; how would he have enough energy to get up and put together a full meal?

Sam returned with a plate of heated bacon and a fork. Dean didn’t bother to use the fork. He just picked up the strips of bacon and ate them, not even caring that his fingers were getting greasy from the bacon. He finished the bacon quickly, then polished off his coffee. He felt better than he had when he first woke up, which was good. He figured he had enough energy to start a conversation with Cas about how Dean was stupid and needed to express his feelings. He pushed away from the table and put his dishes in the sink, washing his hands while he was there. 

“Where are you going?” Sam asked.

Dean shrugged. “I think I’m gonna go find Cas. I want to talk to him right now.”

Sam nodded. “All right. Don’t mess things up even more.”

Dean frowned. “I’m not gonna mess things up, Sam. I’m gonna fix things. At least, I hope so.”

“Okay,” Sam said. “Well, good luck.”

“Thank you,” Dean said, not really paying attention to his brother. He was already on his way out of the kitchen, starting his hunt to find out where Cas was hanging out. He wasn’t in his room, so Dean poked his head in a few of the surrounding rooms. He found Cas sitting on the middle of the floor in a room a few doors down from his normal room. The cat was sitting in his lap, and Cas was holding a book above the cat, reading to himself. Dean knocked on the open door, announcing his presence. “Hey, Cas,” he said hesitantly, unsure of how Cas would react to seeing him. 

Cas turned his head to look at Dean. Dean couldn’t quite make out the expression on the angel’s face, but it didn’t look to be  _ that  _ negative. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean sat down on the ground next to Cas, making sure not to sit too close in case Cas didn’t want him to. Cas put down his book, sliding a small slip of paper between the pages to mark his spot. 

Dean looked down at his hands, unsure of how to start the conversation. “Uh, so I feel like there might have been a misunderstanding between us. Um, I guess after the kiss. I’m sorry I freaked out. I’ve really liked you for a while now, so I thought I’d take a chance. I thought you might not feel the same so I pushed you away.” He stopped, taking in a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have done that. I should have let you tell me how you felt instead of making an assumption.”

Cas didn’t say anything for a few moments, but all of a sudden he burst out in laughter. “We must both be such idiots,” he said, struggling to get the words out because of his laughter. 

“What?” Dean asked. He was confused. “Why would you say that?”

Cas calmed himself down. “I like you too, Dean. I thought you didn’t actually like me and just made a mistake in kissing me.”

Dean snorted. “Well, I didn’t. I actually really enjoyed our kiss.”

“That’s good,” Cas said. “Because I did as well, and it would have been awkward if you didn’t.”

Dean leaned forward into Cas’s personal space. “Do you wanna kiss right now?”

Cas gave Dean a small smile, and little quirk of his lips. “Yes,” he said. He let his cat get out of his lap before leaning in to close the distance between him and Dean. 

It was a feeling of pure bliss. Dean couldn’t get enough of Cas. He leaned in as close as he could, wrapping his arms around Cas’s shoulders and pulling him against his body. Cas threaded his hands through Dean’s short hair, letting it stick up in all directions. He pulled away for a few seconds, giving himself a moment to breathe. Cas licked his lips, causing a warm feeling to settle in Dean’s stomach. He captured Cas’s lips in his own, trying to memorize the taste, the feeling, of Cas’s lips against his. 

When Cas pulled away from the kiss, it took Dean a moment to adjust to the feeling of not having Cas’s lips on his. He grinned slowly, happily, letting the smile spread across his face. 

“That was nice,” Cas said breathlessly. “I love you.”

Dean pressed his forehead against Cas’s. “I love you, too.”

They stayed there for a bit, just staring into each other’s eyes, memorizing the shape and color of blue and green irises. The moment was ruined when Cas’s cat settled down next to the two of them, tapping his paw on Cas’s foot. 

Dean smiled at the cat. “Hey, Cas? What did you end up naming him?”

Cas grinned. “Caramel. Because of his hair.”

Dean observed the kitten’s hair. It definitely reminded him of caramel. “That’s so cute!”

“Yeah,” Cas said. “Do you want to hold him?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He held his hands out, waiting for Cas to deposit the little kitten in his open arms. Caramel curled up in Dean’s arms, resting his head against Dean’s chest. Dean pulled him closer, pressing a short kiss to the kitten’s head. 

“Aw,” Cas cooed. He pulled his phone out and snapped a few photos. He wanted to capture this moment because he didn’t know how often Dean would want to hold the cat. 

They sat like that for a while, losing track of time. Cas rested his head on Dean’s shoulder, reaching out to pet Caramel. He scratched the kitten’s head, earning a small, contented noise out of Caramel. 

“You think we should get lunch soon?” Dean asked, settling his head on top of Cas’s.

Cas sighed. “Probably.” He lifted his head off Dean’s shoulder and helped Dean stand up while he still held Caramel. He headed out to the kitchen, the sound of Dean’s feet behind him a small comfort. 

When they got to the kitchen, Dean set the cat down on the ground as Cas took a seat at the table. Caramel hopped onto the table, settling himself in front of Cas. He stooped over and licked his paw. 

Dean laughed. “That’s adorable. I’m gonna make us some lunch.” He headed over to the refrigerator and grabbed an array of food. He figured he would just make some sandwiches. He kind of wanted to make burgers, but he figured he would make those for dinner. 

“Hey, guys,” Sam said, making his way into the kitchen. He observed the two, smiling at them. “Good to see the two of you talking to each other.” He sat down at the table and pet Caramel, scratching the kitten’s head. 

Cas looked over at Dean and gave him a smile. “Yeah, it’s good to be talking.” He rested his chin on his hand and gazed at Dean, watching as he prepared lunch for the three of them. 

Sam shook his head. “Yeah, I’ll bet.”

Dean came over to the table and set down three plates. He had simply made sandwiches for the three of them, with whole wheat bread, meat, cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes. He sat down next to Cas, scooting over as close as he could without actually sitting on top of Cas. 

“So…” Sam drawled. “How are you two?” He glanced between the two, their shoulders almost touching. 

Cas tipped his head to the side. “I’m fine. Dean?”

Dean looked down at his plate, a blush rising on his cheeks. “Cas, he meant how  _ we _ are doing.” He gestured between the two of them. “As in, how our relationship is doing.”

Cas furrowed his brow. “How could he possibly know about that? It just happened.”

Sam snorted. “I just… I just guessed. I mean, you both told me that you liked each other, so I just assumed you had finally decided to admit your feelings for each other.”

Dean looked over at Cas. “Yeah, I guess we did.” He turned back to his food and took a bite of the sandwich. The three sat in comfortable silence as they ate lunch, every so often to take a sip of water or coffee or whatever they were drinking. 

“Do you think I should get a dog?” Sam asked all of a sudden, once all three of them were done with their lunch. 

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. If you want to, I guess.”

Sam folded his arms over his chest. “You know, if I had asked you that a year ago, you would have told me no. You would have said that a dog would be a waste of space and resources. What changed?”

Dean looked over at Cas, a small, lovestruck grin on his face. “I don’t know what changed. But you can get a dog if you want to.”

Sam nodded. “Okay. I think I’ll head out to a shelter later and see if I can adopt one. Do you guys wanna come with me?”

“Um…” Dean trailed off. “Probably not. You can go pick whatever dog you want to without us messing with your decision. Besides, I think Cas and I are gonna go watch movies.”

“All right,” Sam said. He stood up and gathered everyone’s dirty dishes, depositing them in the sink before heading toward the door. “I’m gonna head out now. Have fun watching your movies.”

Cas smiled and waved. “We will. Good luck finding a dog, Sam.”

“Thank you,” Sam said. With that, he headed out of the kitchen, making his way towards the front door of the bunker.

Dean stood up from the table and clapped his hands together. “Well, wanna go watch some movies?”

Cas nodded. “Yes. Sounds like fun.” He turned and looked at Caramel. “Are you coming?” The cat jumped off the table and followed Dean and Cas to the Dean Cave. 

“See,” Dean said, plopping down on the loveseat, “Caramel came with us. He likes us.”

Cas rolled his eyes and settled into the couch next to Dean. Caramel hopped up into Cas’s lap, but he rested his head on Dean. Dean turned on the TV and searched for something good to watch. Eventually, he settled on an old western movie that he hadn’t seen in a while, and Cas for sure had never seen before. They settled in, relaxing and watching the movie, enjoying not worrying about anything for a little while. Cas chuckled every time Dean got excited about some of his favorite parts. He would point them out to Cas, and Cas would simply tell him that he wouldn’t be able to watch the movie if Dean kept interrupting it. Dean stopped after that, but Cas could tell he was mouthing along to his favorite lines.

They ended up putting another movie on. This one was one of Dean’s favorites, and he and Cas had watched it before. Cas let him talk about his favorite parts this time, since the first time they had watched it Cas had asked Dean to shut up so he could understand what was going on.

Caramel snuggled further into Cas’s lap after a nice stretch. He went back to sleep, somehow. Cas thought that would have been rather difficult because of Dean’s excited explanations about the movie, but what did he know?

Soon after the movie ended, Dean and Cas heard Sam come home. Something with four legs was walking with him, and Cas could only assume it was Sam’s dog. Both Sam and the dog bounded into the room. 

“Hey, Sam,” Dean said. “Who do we have here?”

Sam knelt down next to his dog and grinned, giving the dog a nice head scratch. “His name’s Apollo. I think we fell in love at the shelter.”

Dean laughed. “Love at first sight?”

Sam shook his head and laughed. “Sure, you could say that.”

Caramel jumped off of the couch and went over to the dog. The two sat there, staring at each other, not even moving. Cas worried that they wouldn’t get along. But, thankfully, the two seemed to get along just fine. Apollo sat down and Caramel curled up next to him, resting his head next to Apollo’s head. 

“I had a… question,” Cas said all of a sudden. 

“Yeah?” Sam said. “What’s that?”   
  


Cas nervously played with his hands and tapped each of his fingers, one by one. “Well, I kinda want to get out of the bunker for a little bit, maybe go on a hunt.” He slowly looked up at Dean, then over to Sam. “If that’s all right with you guys.”

Dean nodded. “Sure, why not? Wanna look for one now, or later?”

Sam shrugged. “Let’s look for one now. I’ll go grab my laptop.” He stood up and left, returning a few moments later with his laptop as well as Dean’s. 

Dean and Cas huddled around Dean’s laptop together, searching around for anything even remotely weird. After a long search, they found something that they thought seemed like their kind of thing. It was murders. All of the victims had been found outside a doctor’s office with two little puncture wounds in their necks. They told Sam about it.

“It’s getting kind of late, Dean,” Sam said, looking at the time on his phone. “Think we should call it quits for the night and head out tomorrow morning?”

As if to prove Sam’s point, Dean yawned. 

“That’s a yes,” Cas said, earning a laugh from both Sam and Dean. 

“Well,” Sam said, standing up and closing his laptop, “I’m gonna go head to bed. Apollo, come here!” 

Apollo stood up and followed Sam out the door. 

“Come on, Cas, let’s get up,” Dean said, gently tapping on Cas’s shoulder. They got up, and Cas went over to scoop Caramel up into his arms. Together, he and Dean walked down the hallway, towards where their rooms were. 

Dean continued walking, even once they passed his room. He and Cas stopped outside of Cas’s room, just standing there, staring at each other.

“Uh…” Dean drawled, half considering just turning around and heading to his own room, even though he really wanted to stay with Cas. 

“Dean,” Cas said, “did you want to stay in my room for the night?”

“Yeah, kinda,” Dean said sheepishly. “I was afraid to ask.”

Cas gave him a lopsided grin. “Well, don’t be.” He opened the door to his room and let Caramel down. The kitten scampered around the room, stopping to eat a little bit of his food.

Quickly, Cas changed into some comfier clothing, offering Dean some of his own. Dean laughed as he looked at the clothes he had been handed. They were his, just some pieces that Cas had borrowed to sleep him because Dean reminded so often that most people didn’t sleep in a full suit and a trench coat. 

Dean threw on the clothes Cas had handed him, enjoying the nicely worn in Led Zeppelin tee shirt and the loose-fitting sweatpants. Cas had put on one of Dean’s old shirts that had a few holes, along with yet another pair of loose-fitting sweatpants. Something about Cas wearing Dean’s clothes was a comfort, like their relationship was official, or they were past the beginning awkward stage of a new relationship. Either way, the look was great, and Dean felt a warm feeling swell within himself. 

Cas climbed into bed and Dean did the same. Cas strung his arms around Dean’s hips, leaning his head against Dean’s shoulder. Dean sighed into the embrace, enjoying the warmth of Cas’s arms encircling his body. 

They heard a small sound and looked to see Caramel hop on the bed and settle down where Cas and Dean’s feet were. 

Soon, Dean and Cas fell fast asleep, a cat by their feet and their legs tangled together. 


	3. Chapter 3

Slowly, Dean opened his eyes the next morning, blinking into the dark room around him. He was immediately aware of a weight around his waist, a pair of arms wrapped around him, holding him tight. 

“Morning, sunshine,” Dean mumbled, his voice quiet and rough because he had just woken up. He twisted his head around to look at Cas, the angel’s face peaceful and well rested. Cas’s eyes flew open. “Oh, sorry,” he added once he realized that Cas had been trying to sleep. “You can go back to sleep.”

Cas shook his head. “No. I was probably about to wake up soon anyway, so this is fine.” He gently removed his arms from Dean’s waist and Dean missed the comforting weight. Cas sat up and lifted his arms above his head, stretching out his back. There was a crack, and then Cas relaxed his posture. 

Dean snorted as he sat up next to Cas. “That didn’t sound good.”

Cas shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I normally have little aches like that when I wake up. It’s fairly standard.”

Dean frowned. “I’m guessing that’s new?”

Cas sighed and nodded. “Yes, but I’m dealing with it the best I can, just like I deal with every tough situation that comes my way.” He shrugged. “It’s not too bad. It makes me feel closer to you and Sam, like I can relate to the simple things in your lives that I never really had to deal with, things that I had never experienced before.”

“I’m sorry,” Dean said, reaching over and resting his hand on top of Cas’s. “I wish I had helped you more instead of fucking things up for a bit.”

Cas leaned over and settled his weight against Dean. “No, no, no. It’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry for anything. We both made mistakes, but we ended up fixing everything.”

Dean smiled and pecked Cas on the lips. “Yeah, we did.”

Caramel hopped on the bed and settled down between Dean and Cas. At some point during the night, he must have found somewhere else to sit because he had been on the bed before Dean and Cas fell asleep. Cas aimlessly scratched Caramel’s head and the kitten purred in response. 

“We should probably get breakfast soon and head out for the hunt,” Dean said. “Do you think Caramel and Apollo will be okay while we’re gone?”

Cas tilted his head to the side, contemplative. “I believe so. They’re well behaved and shouldn’t get into too much trouble. If you’re worried, we could ask Jody or Claire or someone else to look after them.”

“I’ll ask Sam. We probably could ask Alex and Claire to come over and look after them while we’re gone.”

Cas nodded. “Sounds good.” He got up and headed over to his closet to grab something to wear. He pulled out a pair of Dean’s jeans, a plain black tee shirt, and one of Dean’s flannels. 

“That looks familiar,” Dean drawled, standing up and walking over to Cas. “Wonder where you got those things.”

Cas looked down at the ground and clutched the clothes to his chest. A red flush spread across his face. “Sorry.”

Dean grinned. “Nah, you’re good. They look good on you anyway.” He tugged Cas close and pressed a kiss on the angel’s cheek. “I’m gonna go get dressed. I’ll see you in the kitchen for breakfast?”

Cas nodded as he unfolded the jeans he was holding. “Yeah. I’ll see you.”

Dean quietly left the room and headed to his own. He threw on something to wear quickly, just something standard that looked like what he wore everyday, before heading out to make his way to the kitchen. 

“Hi, Dean,” Sam said absentmindedly as Dean stepped into the kitchen and made a beeline for the coffee machine. “Sleep well?”

Dean paused, setting his mug down on the counter. “Yeah,” he said, letting a smile appear on his face. He did sleep well, and it definitely had something to do with Cas. It was comforting to have someone there to hold him during the night, keep him close. He hadn’t had that for a while, and he had selpt well knowing that the person sleeping beside him was keeping him safe. 

Cas wandered into the kitchen a few moments later, running a hand through his sleep-tousled hair. Dean handed him a cup of coffee and Cas took it graciously, wrapping his hands around the warm mug and raising it to his lips so he could take a sip of the bitter liquid. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean grabbed his own mug and headed over to the table, taking a seat and patting the spot next to him, urging Cas to sit down. Cas did, scooting over so his shoulder brushed against Dean’s. 

“You two are cute,” Sam said.

Dean looked up so fast that he almost dropped the coffee he was holding. He glanced over at Cas, letting a pinkish-red blush spread over his cheeks. “Thanks,” he said quietly. 

Cas grinned, bumping his elbow against Dean’s side gently and playfully. “Thank you, Sam. That’s very sweet of you.”

Sam leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. “You know, I’m really glad the two of you are finally dating. I feel like you two have been dancing around each other for years, and I have to admit it was getting hard to live here with the two of you acting like that.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Shut up.” He took a sip of his coffee and leaned his head on Cas’s shoulder, just upright enough that he could still drink his coffee. Caramel hopped onto the table next to Dean, walking across until he was situated between both Dean and Cas. They sat like that for a while, just simply enjoying their breakfast in peace before they had to leave for the hunt. 

“Sam,” Dean started, “do you want to call Claire and Alex to watch Caramel and Apollo while we’re gone?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’ll call them right now.” He pushed away from the table, pulling his phone out of his pocket and heading out of the kitchen. Apollo stood up and followed him, tail wagging as he ran after his favorite person in the bunker. He came back a few moments later. “They’re on their way. Claire was surprised we have pets. Guess she doesn’t think we’re caring enough to have pets, but she’s wrong.”

Dean snorted. “Yeah, has she met Cas? He’s super caring and loves animals.”

Cas wrapped an arm around Dean’s shoulders. “You’re caring too, Dean.”

Dean buried his face in his coffee mug, tipping his head back and sipping his coffee. When he set the mug back down on the table and looked up, a slight red tinge was on his cheeks. “Thank you, Cas,” he said quietly. 

Cas smiled. “You’re welcome.”

Sam slid back into his seat, Apollo settling down on the ground next to him. Sam leaded over to stroke the dog’s head. “Should we wait for Claire and Alex to get here before leaving or should we just head out?”

Dean shrugged. “They can get in here. I think these two will be fine for a little while without anyone here. They have each other.” He gently ran his hand down Caramel’s back, then scratched the kitten behind his ears. 

Sam nodded. “All right, then.” He stood back up and started heading back out of the kitchen. “I’m gonna make sure everything’s ready for Claire and Alex. You should probably do the same with Caramel’s food and, I don’t know, litter.”

“Yeah,” Cas said, carefully extricating himself from Dean, taking extra care so as not to spill Dean’s coffee, “of course.” He stood up and followed Sam out of the kitchen, heading towards his own room rather than Sam’s. He organized Caramel’s things and wrote out a simple list of Caramel’s normal routines. He figured it would be enough for the girls to follow, but sometimes Caramel wanted to be difficult so he wasn’t entirely certain.

Once he was done, Cas headed back out of his room and toward the kitchen. 

“You ready, Cas?” Dean said, turning his head to face Cas as he made his way down the hall. He was leaning against the doorway with his arms folded over his chest.

Cas nodded, walking over to Dean. He grabbed the mug out of Dean’s hands and took it over to the sink so they would remember to wash it later. 

“All right,” Dean said. He pushed off the wall and inclined his head out of the doorway. “Let’s head out, then.”

Dean and Cas fell into a comfortable silence as they made their way down the hall and towards the garage. They had already packed everything they would need the night before, so they didn’t have to stop by their rooms to grab their bags. Caramel ran after them on their way out, so Dean and Cas stopped to say goodbye to the little kitten. 

“Took you two long enough,” Sam said, leaning against the passenger door of the Impala.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Shut up.” He waved his brother away from the passenger’s seat. “Move. You’re sitting in the back.”

Sam mumbled something incomprehensible under his breath but complied, opening the door and sliding into the backseat. Dean rounded the car and slid into his own seat. He tapped the seat next to him, silently telling Cas to get in and sit next to him. Cas got in, but he seemed a little uncomfortable sitting in the front of the Impala. 

“Hey,” Dean said, reaching across the short distance between him and Cas, “relax. You’re allowed to sit up here.” He held his hand out, palm up. Slowly, Cas set his hand on top of Dean’s. Dean saw him relax a bit, letting go of his rigid posture, instead sinking into the seat.

The three of them stayed silent for the first hour of the ride; the radio was a quiet, comforting noise in the background, accompanied by the slow rumble of the car’s engine. Dean gently stroked Cas’s hand the entire time. Their relationship was new, and he had to admit, he liked holding Cas’s hand even when it wasn’t necessary. 

“Hey, Dean,” Sam piped up from the back seat, “do you know how much longer it will take to get there?”

Dean craned his head around to glance at his brother. “What are you, a whiny toddler?”

Sam let loose an exasperated sigh. “No,” he said pointedly. “I was just wondering. It’s weird sitting back here. I feel like I can’t see the road properly, and… I don’t know It’s just weird. I haven’t sat back here in a while.”

Dean shrugged. “Oh well, Sammy.” He returned his attention to the road, gripping Cas’s hand a little tighter. Quickly, once he was stopped, he lifted their joined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to Cas’s hand. Cas stared down at their hands, a bit of color rising in his cheeks. 

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said quietly, trying to keep the small moment to themselves. 

Dean gave him a smile, just before he had to continue their drive. 

* * *

Sam, Dean, and Cas arrived at their destination a few hours later. Dean pulled the Impala into the parking lot at the closest motel there was to the center of town. 

“We’re here,” Dean said, gently nudging Cas, who had his head pressed against the window and was partially curled in on himself.

Cas stirred slightly and turned to look at Dean. “I know, Dean,” he said, squeezing Dean’s hand. “I wasn’t sleeping. I was just… resting.”

Dean smiled, the corner of his lip quirking upwards. “Sure, buddy. If you say so.” He shook his head a bit as he noticed Cas trying to hide the fact that he was stretching and yawning. Obviously, he had just woken up from a nap but didn’t want Dean to know he was sleeping.

Sam opened the door and stepped out of the car. “I’m gonna go get us a room. Uh…” He trailed off as he noticed Dean curling up next to Cas and Cas stroking Dean’s hair. “I’m getting you two a separate room, just in case… I don’t know. Just in case.”

Dean whipped his head around to face Sam, accidentally knocking Cas’s hand out of the way. “Sorry, Cas,” he said quickly, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand and giving it a short kiss. “Sam! That’s not necessary. Nothing like that is going to happen.”

Sam shrugged. “Whatever. I’ll decide once I get to the front desk.” He turned and headed toward the entrance to the motel, leaving Cas and Dean in the car so they could hang out and cuddle for a bit without Sam there to bother them. 

Dean rested his head on Cas’s shoulder, ready to take a nap on his angel boyfriend. Right when he was about to close his eyes, his phone rang, and he regretfully sat up so he could answer the phone.

“Yeah?” he asked, feeling a pang of regret when his tone came off as rude and annoyed.

“Hey, Dean,” said a familiar voice. Dean was pretty sure it was Claire. “I just wanted to let you know Alex and I made it to the bunker.”

Dean nodded. “Good, good. I’m sure Sam and Cas appreciate you two looking after Caramel and Apollo for us while we’re gone.”

“Sure,” Claire responded. “I’m gonna go now, but maybe we’ll see you three once you get back from your hunt.”

“Hopefully,” Dean replied. “Bye.”

Claire hung up without even saying goodbye. Typical. She probably wanted to get back to hanging around doing nothing, as usual.

“Was that Claire?” Cas asked, his voice extra gravelly from the amount of time he had been sleeping. “Did she and Alex make it to the bunker all right?”

Dean nodded as he sat back against Cas. “Yeah. Claire says she hopes she sees us when we return from the case.”

Cas tilted his head to the side, confused. “Claire said that? That doesn’t seem like her.”

Dean shrugged. “That’s what I thought. But, you know, it’s nice to see she cares.”

Cas nodded. “Yeah, it is.” He wrapped an arm around Dean’s hip and pulled him closer. He turned his head and pressed a kiss to Dean’s forehead. “Do you really think Sam is getting us a separate room? Because that is kind of ridiculous. You guys never used to mind sharing, so why is now any different?”

Dean sighed. “Well, we’re in a relationship now, and I guess he wants to give us our space. He doesn’t really have to. It’s more expensive to get two rooms, and you and I can share a bed anyway, so I don’t see why we couldn’t share.” He shifted a bit, sitting in a way that wasn’t uncomfortable for his back. “I already told him that nothing he wouldn’t be comfortable with was going to happen.”

“I don’t really mind,” Cas said simply. “It would be nice to have our own space.”

“Yeah.” Dean grinned. “We can stay up late to talk and Sam can’t yell at us for keeping him up.” He laughed and shook his head. “I sound like I don’t want my parents to yell at me for staying up at a slumber party.”

Cas chuckled. “That sounds nice, Dean.” The smile on his face could light up the entire universe. 

All too soon, Sam came back to the car with two motel room keys. He handed one set to Cas and kept the other for himself. “I got you two your own room, room 116. It’s right over there.” He pointed over his shoulder in the general direction of where Dean’s and Cas’s room would be. “I’m gonna grab my stuff and head to my room, which is, uh… room 208. You two can meet me there tomorrow morning before we head out for the day.”

With that, Sam grabbed his things out of the trunk and headed to his room.

Dean groaned. “Ugh, we should probably get up. We can continue this once we make it to our room.” He sat up slowly, not wanting to escape from the warmth of Cas’s embrace. He was comfortable there, and he wouldn’t mind if he never had to leave Cas’s arms.

Cas opened the car door and slid out of his seat, rounding the back of the car so he could grab his and Dean’s bags from the trunk. He slung his own bag over his shoulder and handed the other to Dean once he met Cas by the car’s trunk. Together, the two of them walked the short distance to their own room.

As soon as they made it to the room, Dean dropped his bag on the ground and ran towards the bed, flopping down on the left side. 

Cas set his bag down at the foot of the bed. “Dean,” he started, sitting down on the edge of the bed, “don’t you want to change before you fall asleep?”

Dean begrudgingly sat up. “Yeah. That’s a good idea.” He rifled through his duffle, emerging a few short moments later with a worn-in tee-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste before heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Cas did the same a little later once Dean was done. 

“You gonna come to bed?” Dean asked, turning on his side and pulling the sheet over himself. He patted the spot next to him and lifted the sheet up, beckoning Cas to come over and lie down. 

Cas dropped his old clothes on top of his bag before heading over to the bed. He slipped under the covers, rolling on his side so he could face Dean. Dean flipped around so he and Cas were face to face. 

“Good night, Dean,” Cas said softly, reaching a hand out to gently stroke Dean’s cheek.

Dean gave Cas a quick peck on the lips. “Night, Cas.” He flipped over to his other side, facing the door. Cas strung his arms around Dean’s waist, leaning in close and resting his cheek on Dean’s shoulder. He fell asleep like that, with his boyfriend in his arms. 

* * *

Sam, Dean, and Cas finished the hunt with practiced ease. They had asked around the town for any information the citizens had on the killings, and they surprisingly received a lot of helpful pieces of information. It took them a little while to find the vampire nest--at least eight hours, they weren’t really counting--but once they did, they cleared it out within ten minutes. They went into the old, abandoned house with blades drawn, cutting off the heads of all the vampires that were living there. They left with some wounds of their own, but other than that, they were fine.

They made it home in one piece. Dean pulled into the bunker’s garage at about six at night after a few hour’s drive. 

“All right,” Sam said, getting out of the Impala and stretching out his back, “I’m gonna go head to my room. Wanna meet in the war room later?”

Dean shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

Sam grabbed his bag out of the trunk before heading out of the garage and into the actual bunker. 

Cas turned to Dean and squeezed his hand. “I think we should head inside and clean up.” He reached a hand out to touch the side of Dean’s face, covered with scattered cuts and splattered blood. “We both have a lot of blood on us from the fight.”

Dean frowned. “Yeah, you’re right.” He reluctantly let go of Cas’s hand so he could get out of the car and head to the trunk. He grabbed his and Cas’s bags, handing Cas’s over, before heading into the bunker. The sound of Cas’s feet behind him was comforting and familiar, like the background soundtrack for a movie or the sound of raindrops hitting the ground. 

Once inside, he made a beeline for his room, dropping his bag on the ground and stripping off his clothes as he made his way towards the bathroom. There was a lot of blood on the clothes, and Dean didn’t know if he should bother washing them or if he should just trash them. Ultimately, he threw them in his dirty clothes pile, figuring they were probably salvageable. He’d deal with them later, when he wasn’t dead tired.

It didn’t take Dean long to clean up and throw on a new set of clothes for the day. He splashed some water on his face, trying to make an effort to wake himself up. It was tiring being on the road, but he didn’t want someone else to drive for him.

For a second, he considered going over to his bed, throwing himself on top of the covers and falling fast asleep. But he wanted to hang out with his boyfriend, his brother, the dog, and the cat. 

Dean grabbed his phone from his nightstand, flipping it over the check his notifications before he slipped it into his pocket. He headed out of his room and toward the kitchen. He wanted to grab something to eat and some coffee for him and Cas. If Sam wanted some, he could get it himself. Dean wasn’t going to get it for him.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean said, walking to the library with two mugs of coffee, setting them down on the table as soon as possible so he wouldn’t spill it. He didn’t end up grabbing something to eat because everything he wanted to eat he had to cook and he didn’t feel like doing that. He took a seat next to Cas, scooting the chair closer to his angel boyfriend.

Cas scooped Caramel into his arms. He looked over at Dean, giving him a once over. “Hello, Dean.” Cas pressed a kiss onto Caramel’s head, then leaned over to give Dean a kiss on his cheek.

Dean scoffed. “What? Am I second best to your cat?”

Cas shrugged. “Maybe. You’ll never know.” He opened his arms and let Caramel jump on the ground. The cat ran over to a corner of the library and curled up, probably trying to fall asleep. 

Dean kicked his feet up on the table and took a sip of his coffee. He moved the mug away from his mouth, almost spilling half of the liquid in it. The coffee was a lot hotter than he had expected, and he was kind of upset about that. He just wanted to drink his coffee. 

“Maybe you should have grabbed a beer instead of the coffee,” said a familiar voice, followed by a cheerful bark from Apollo. Sam sat down across from Dean and Cas, setting three beers down on the table. “Figured you might want some later, once you’re done with your coffee.”

Dean set his feet down and leaned across the table to grab two of the beers, leaving one by his coffee and handing the other over to Cas. “Thanks, Sam,” he said. “Pretty sure I’ll appreciate that later.”

Sam nodded. “Good, good.” He gestured behind him, towards the door. “Claire and Alex left while the two of you were cleaning up. They said Caramel and Apollo were fine while we were gone.” He started ticking things off on his fingers. “They ate fine, Apollo went out for walks with no issue, there were no accidents…” He trailed off. “You get the point.”

Cas gently blew on his coffee before raising it to his lips to take a sip. He didn’t react, so Dean assumed that his coffee would be fine to drink. “That’s good to hear,” Cas said. He glanced over his shoulder to look at Caramel and Apollo. Apollo had wandered over to where Caramel was sleeping and plopped down next to the kitten, curling up with his head near Caramel’s. 

Sam pushed away from the table and stood up. “Well,” he said, “I think I’m gonna head to bed now. I wanna get up early and go for a run.”

Dean shrugged. “I really don’t care what your plans are for the morning.”

Sam pressed his lips together and glared. “That’s great to know, Dean. Good night.”

“Good night, Sam,” Cas said, interrupting Dean before he could say something rude or sarcastic. 

Sam headed off in the direction of his room. Apollo didn’t follow, instead opting to stay in the library with Caramel. 

“Do you want to finish these and then head to bed?” Dean asked, gesturing to his mostly-finished coffee and his beer.

Cas nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’m starting to get tired.”

The two of them sat in silence while they finished drinking their coffees and beers. Dean polished his beer off in no time flat, but Cas took his time with it, savoring the flavor he most likely couldn’t even taste. Once they both were done, they headed to Dean’s room together, hand in hand. They changed into comfier clothing, sweatpants and tee-shirts, and got into Dean’s bed. 

Dean leaned back against the wall, hands behind his head. “Do you…” He trailed off, looking over at Cas.

Cas folded his hands over his lap. “Do I what Dean?”

Dean sighed. “I just… I wondered how you were doing with the whole, uh, no wing situation? Do you wanna do something to rectify that? ‘Cause you’ve not been feeling your best lately, and I know you don’t wanna burden me with what’s going on, but I know this situation has been bothering you.”

Cas frowned and looked down at his hands, fiddling around with the sheets he had pulled up to his waist. “It would be preferable that I get my wings back, of course. But… I really don’t know how easy that would be. We left my wings back where the demon cut them off, and we don’t even know if they’re still there. They’re not like skin. We can’t just sew them back on or back together and call it a day. It would take so much power just to attach them, let alone be able to use them again.”

Dean frowned. He shifted over so he was closer to Cas, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Are you sure, Cas? We could still try, if you really wanted to.”

The corner of Cas’s lips quirked up. “No, Dean. I’m fine. I am at peace with my decision.”

Dean grinned and scooted over, resting his head on Cas’s shoulder. “That’s good to hear.” He turned his head to the side and gave the angel a quick peck on the cheek.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said simply. “I am of course concerned with the restoration of my grace and my ability to heal you and Sam should the need arise, but…” He trailed off, looking down at his lap and twiddling his fingers. “I am happy with my decision and I am happy to be here with you, Sam, Caramel, and Apollo.”

Dean wiped his eyes, pretending that he had been moved to tears by Cas’s words. “Stop! You’re going to make me cry.”

Cas tolled his eyes, playfully shoving Dean aside. He shifted so he could lay down on the bed and pull the covers over himself. “Shut up. You know what I mean.”

Dean rolled over to give Cas a kiss. “I know. I love you, angel.”

Cas grinned. “I love you too, Dean.”


End file.
